Shopping and Body Acceptance
Over the last couple of weeks, it’s been hard to miss the Old Navy commercials featuring Aidy Bryant declaring herself a dancer. I admit that I’m an easy crier, but Old Navy’s announcement and subsequent marketing for their #Bodequality campaign had me a little misty-eyed. It’s one thing to see outside of the commercial standard featured by a major national brand, but they went even further. Old Navy is now carrying sizes up to 30 IN STORES and they are not separating them out to a small plus-size corner of shame in the back of the store or in another store completely. Chalk this up as a huge win for anybody larger than a size 12.
What A Jump We Have Made with Body Acceptance in the Shopping Arena!
Old Navy’s commitment to body equity is not just a body size inclusivity step, it also is addressing the social, emotional, and financial strains shopping can put on somebody with a larger body. Oftentimes, because so many clothes sizes are not carried in stores, women are forced to spend money upfront without being sure something will fit or look right. For some people, this means buying several sizes of the same thing just to find the one that fits, for others it may be purchasing 3 or 4 swimsuits in different cuts to see which one works best. Even if you are returning some or all of the items purchased, it does come with an up-front cost that not everybody can afford.
The Benefits of Body Acceptance During Shopping
By including all sizes in store, suddenly friends can shop together without the friend living in a larger body being seen as really into scarves/purses/jewelry because that’s the only thing in the stores they could buy. Suddenly, that friend is included in the experience...and what a difference that can make for somebody’s self-worth.
Even with this change (let’s not get too excited, it’s only one store...crossing my fingers that the rest of their brands will be doing the same soon), shopping still has the potential to be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience. Sizes vary from store to store. Lighting is terrible in dressing rooms. The size you are looking for always seems to be out of stock (or is that just me?). There are so many others I’ve not even mentioned.
So what can be done to make shopping a little bit easier of an experience?
Shopping may always be difficult...I would bet for some, it is even wrapped up in trauma from growing up. These tips are not going to make it all better, but hopefully, they can help create a safer or less triggering experience the next time you go out looking for something cute.
Nourish Yourself!
Eat before you go or make plans to eat while you are out. We’ve already acknowledged that shopping can cause distress, but it’s a whole lot easier to handle that distress when your body and brain are nourished. There’s a reason hangry is a thing...when our brains are under-nourished, we are going to have a harder time regulating our emotions, meaning when your well-intentioned mom suggests that something may not look the way you wanted it to, you are going to have the emotional capacity to hear her and make a decision how to respond rather than just reacting and saying something you didn’t mean.
Take a Deep Breath…
Try to show up with your stress/distress levels fairly low. I like to think of emotion regulation as a button. Every distressing thing on your plate pushes that button down a little bit. If we don’t take something off that plate or at least lighten its load, eventually that button is going to be pushed all the way down. None of us want to get to that point. So maybe this means not taking the kids along with you. Or maybe you take a few deep breaths or meditate before you get out of the car. You don’t need to be stress-free, but you also don’t want to walk into this experience already pushed to a breaking point.
Body Acceptance Means not Forcing Yourself to Fit in, Be Comfortable
Wear clothes that you feel good in (and comfortable shoes!). When we are feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious about the shirt/pants/bra/underwear we are wearing, we are going to see our body in a less favorable light. If I walk into the store thinking about how much I don’t like my body, it’s a pretty good bet that I’m also not going to like the things I put on it. And for the shoe part...body image includes more than how we feel about what our body looks like. It also includes things like aches and pains and how we physically feel, including hurting feet. Don’t give that harsh inner critic just another reason to criticize your body, discover better body acceptance.
What is Your Plan? How Are You Preparing Yourself During Shopping?
Make a plan. When’s the last time you went shopping for jeans? No matter how comfortable you are with your body, it’s bound to be a chore. Prepare yourself for the possibility that you may need to go into a few stores and you may try on some things that don’t fit how you want. Rather than powering through the experience, consider ways you can make it a little easier on yourself. Maybe take a trusted friend or plan a stop at Wetzel's Pretzels between stores. Maybe make a stop to look at purses or shoes. Your mental health will thank you.
Guarding Your Mental Health Matters for Body Acceptance!
Turn your back to the mirror when trying on clothes. You know when you put something on if it fits or not. If it doesn’t fit, take it off without turning around...there is no reason to turn around just so you can blame your body.
You Do Not Need to Conform to Clothes, Clothes Need to Conform to You!
Most importantly, remember that clothes should be made to fit your body. If the clothes don’t fit, it doesn't mean your body needs to change. It means the clothes do. Try a new size, a different fit, or scrap the store altogether. Your body deserves clothes that FIT IT, not the other way around. Body acceptance begins with you giving yourself grace and moving forward. Don’t let the clothes hold you back.
Starting Body Image Counseling in St. Louis and Online in Missouri
You don’t have to hate your body. Especially when it comes to finding fashionable and comfortable clothes for you. Body image Counseling can help you learn to be comfortable in your own skin again. It is time to go from body hate to body love. This may seem impossible, but what about going to body acceptance and understanding what is body positivity? To start your counseling journey,
Contact Embodied Self Counseling to set up a 20-minute consultation.
Meet with your new body image counselor, Erin
Set up your first appointment to start your journey to freedom from negative body image.
Other Therapy Services at Embodied Self Counseling
Counseling for body image is one of the many services provided at Embodied Self Counseling’s St. Louis office. I offer online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Wisconsin to accommodate your busy schedule. If you have "stuff with food" that others don't get, you could be a good fit for my eating disorder treatment. Additionally, I provide a unique approach to working with atypical anorexia and perfectionism. I offer eating disorder treatment for men too. I am also adept at working with athletes if you’re dealing with anxiety and uncertainty from the sport you’re in. If you’re ready to get support, call now and begin therapy!