Maladaptive Perfectionism
Therapy for Perfectionism in Missouri
I get it….I’m a recovering perfectionist myself!
I understand that internal pressure you put on yourself to get everything just so. Sometimes that pressure can keep you from doing something at all just because you know you won’t be able to do it just right.
When you are able to do something, it’s never really good enough to make public. You tweak and tweak things and never really feel like it’s “good enough.” You spend hours on things and can never feel satisfied.
You know that if people saw how much of a mess “you really were,” they would hate you or judge you. They would decide you are “too much” to deal with. So rather than let them see, you stuff it down. You smile and convince everybody around you that you are fine. That everything is under control.
You keep it all up because that is what people expect from you.
And I don’t know about you, but this whole dance is exhausting. It sucks to live this way. And it can feel isolating...like nobody really “gets it” or “sees you.” Most people hear perfectionism and they immediately go to that image of a super driven girl. She gets straight A’s and is on her way to Harvard or Yale or some other prestigious future (think Paris Geller of Gilmore Girls fame). Hell, that may be you! Perfectionism is often a scapegoat as an “acceptable flaw” in interviews. None of this captures what it actually feels like though. The anxiety, the pressure, and sometimes the shut down. Some of us end up in shut down, unable to perform in that stereotypical perfectionist way. This often gets overlooked and may not even identify completely as a perfectionist. But perfectionism comes in all shapes and sizes. Fortunately, so does perfectionism treatment.
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgement, or blame” - Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
Signs That You Could Benefit From Perfectionism Treatment
Perfectionism isn’t striving to achieve. It’s keeping us quiet, full of shame, and fearful of somebody seeing your messy human side. You may experience it as:
Intense feelings of shame when you mess up or expose yourself as flawed
Shutting down. Inability to follow through with something as small as posting on social media because it may not be “just right.”
Obsessions about high achieving .Or, getting it exactly perfect to the point where it begins to interfere with your life.
Avoiding and shoving down intense or “unacceptable” emotions. You tell yourself you “shouldn’t” feel that way. Feeling like others wouldn’t want to see you that way or decide that you are “too much” for having them.
A general feeling of anxiety, specifically around how others may perceive you.
How Therapy For Perfectionism Can Help
Imagine life without all that stress….that shame and self-blame.
Imagine letting somebody see all of you, mess and all, and still being accepted and loved. You don’t always have to feel so controlled by these internal pressures, these fears, the shame.
Therapy for perfectionism can help you find relief from some of your perfectionist tendencies so you can enjoy life.
I am passionate about perfectionism treatment because I know how freeing life is without it. As an HAES informed therapist, I want to help you challenge those thoughts that keep us stuck in this cycle and to explore how we got there in the first place in order to move forward. Through therapy for perfectionism, I want to help you get out of this place of feeling over-controlled and find a way to let yourself just be.
Starting Therapy for Perfectionism in Missouri
Living life as a perfectionist is nothing short of exhausting. The second-guessing, the hesitation, and “shut down” can rule your life. However, this is not something you have to go through alone. Embodied Self Counseling can help. Therapy for perfectionism offers many benefits, like feeling okay with your choices. When you’re ready to make the next move and begin perfectionism treatment, follow these steps:
Contact Embodied Self Counseling and set up a 20 minute free counseling consultation.
Meet with me, Erin, your new therapist.
Set up your first appointment to start your journey to freedom from your perfectionism.
Other Services Provided by Embodied Self Counseling in the St. Louis Area
Perfectionism therapy is not the only service provided at our Maplewood, MO counseling office. Life can throw lots of obstacles. And, unfortunately, we’re not prepared for all of them. If you find yourself using food and/or exercise to fix the pain you’re feeling, we have a variety of ways to help. Looking into our approach for eating disorders and Atypical Anorexia could be a great start. Perhaps the anxiety you feel surrounding your body image is holding you back from doing the things you really want to do. Additionally, Embodied Self Counseling’s therapist, Erin, is also adept at working with athletes and members of the LGBTQIA+ community. When you’re ready to take the next step, contact us and we’ll follow your lead.