What is Body Positivity and Why is it BS?
Over the last several years, body positivity has really taken off in mainstream media. Ad campaigns encourage women to “love their body” and “embrace” who they are and what they look like. Instagram influencers post pictures of their posed body vs their unposed and “natural-looking” body.
Origins of Body Positivity
But as nice as that all sounds, something about it miss the mark. Body positivity was not developed as a thing to be commodified. It began as a movement within the fat community. The concept of body positivity was created to help women stop hating their bodies. Even when the rest of the world has told them otherwise and to promote fat acceptance. It was a community of women rejecting traditional beauty ideals. And, embracing what they looked like.
Body Positivity Today
While the core of this message is still there, body positivity as a whole has shifted. It has turned away from its roots of fat liberation. Now, it has become a way for traditionally thin women to proclaim their love for their bodies. Even though they themselves have struggled with body image.
Body positivity no longer challenges beauty ideals perpetuated by diet culture. It’s become “loving your body despite your flaws” instead of just appreciating your body for what it is. Those posed and unposed side by side are then a glaring example of where body positivity has gone wrong.
And Now, Businesses Are Marketing & Exploiting The Body Positivty Movement
The emphasis is still on how a person looks and the size of their body. So, it does not challenge why these feelings are there, to begin with. The multi-billion-dollar diet culture industry has made it clear that our bodies are our enemy. Anti-aging creams, new fad diets, and shows like The Biggest Loser are perfect examples. They reiterate that we should not be okay with our body as it is and constantly be in a fight to change it. But who is benefitting from us hating our bodies? It sure as hell isn’t us! Studies show us that hating our bodies is actually hurting our health more than the size of our body does. Take that in! Read it twice if you need to. Write in on your mirror. Your body size is not a determinant factor in your health (despite what IG commenters may say). But rather, how you FEEL about yourself and your body will play a larger role in your health outcomes.
The Impact Of Subscribing To Body Positivity
So isn’t that an argument for body positivity? Nope! The biggest problem I have for body positivity is the same problem I have for toxic positivity. Just as toxic positivity can be negating and invalidate feelings and experiences that may not be all “positive vibes only”, body positivity doesn’t leave space for those days that you may not be feeling it. Or the days where you just feel blah. Body image isn’t something that we can just “don’t worry, be happy” about. This is because body image is about so much more than how our body looks. If we push those feelings aside, we aren't making space or being curious about them. We set ourselves up for not just being unhappy about our body, but now we end up adding on shame from not being able to “just stay positive” about it all.
Where Do We Go From Here, Erin?
Okay, I know what you are thinking. I’m telling you that body positivity is BS, but what should I be aiming for instead? I’m happy you asked! For me, I think the ultimate goal is to find body acceptance or body peace.
Wait, Body Acceptance?
Think about the last time you just accepted something just as it was. Doing so removes emotion from the object or situation in question. This allows our energy and our thoughts to focus on the rest of our life. For example, we’ve all had those mornings that we just don’t like the way an article of clothing is fitting that particular day. Whatever the reason is, it just feels off. If we’re home, that’s fine, you can change into something different. But what about if you are at work when you start feeling that way? Sure, you can tug and stretch and do whatever, but it's still on your mind and bothering you. It may even end up distracting you during a conversation with coworkers. Or, even prevent you from being social. Now, what if instead, you actively chose to accept what you are wearing rather than fight it? You’re at work anyway, there’s not much you can do about what you are wearing now. By accepting the situation instead of fighting it, you open yourself up to a lot less distress. And, to a lot more mental space for other things. You may even find it easier to focus on work or interact with coworkers. You know, when they're not trying to get you to buy overpriced popcorn for their kid's fundraiser.
If You're Wondering How Body Acceptance Can Be Applied. . .
This same sort of approach can be applied to body image as well. Accepting your body as it is can take the emotional experience out of looking in the mirror, getting ready for work, or taking pictures with friends. Accepting your body means seeing your whole self in the mirror and wondering if these shoes look good with this outfit. And, maybe not picking apart the rest of your body. It also means holding space for those “blah” days. You know, those days that are completely normal to have. Experience these days without the pressure to immediately shut that feeling down.
Body Acceptance Is a Journey
Now, I’m not saying this is easy work. Just like all things in therapy, this won’t happen overnight. But it is so worth it to be able to actively participate in your life without feelings about your body distracting you from the moment. If you are asking yourself how you can get from body hate all the way over to body love and feeling hopeless about that prospect, maybe change the question you are asking yourself. Instead, try asking how you can find body acceptance.
Anndddd, I Can Help With That Journey!
As a HAES therapist, I specialize in working with folks navigating all things body image and eating disorders. I offer therapy for folks struggling with anorexia, binge eating, atypical anorexia, and compulsive exercise. In addition, I specialize in providing eating disorder treatment for men. I also offer therapy for perfectionism. All of the services are offered through online therapy in Missouri or online therapy in Wisconsin. Currently, my St. Louis based counseling clinic is closed. When you're to start working with me, follow these steps:
Contact Embodied Self Counseling
Meet with me, Erin, for a 20-minute consultation
Set up your first appointment to start working through your "stuff."
Other Therapy Services at Embodied Self Counseling
Are you tired of body positivity? So am I. It’s not helpful and can end up being more harmful in the long run. Let’s rework how we see our own bodies. That is exactly what I do at Embodied Self Counseling’s St. Louis office. If you’re ready and want to learn more about services, you’re in the right place. The additional support offered includes online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Wisconsin to accommodate your busy schedule. If you have "stuff with food" that others don't get, you could be a good fit for my eating disorder treatment. Additionally, I provide a unique approach to working with atypical anorexia and perfectionism. I offer eating disorder treatment for men too. Additionally, I offer Counseling for Compulsive Exercise, I am skilled with working with athletes and providing Counseling for Athletes. Plus, I provide Eating Disorder Treatment for Men. Call now and work on becoming your authentic self with a HAES therapist!